I am a sadist, most people don't admit that, but I know I am. I will laugh hysterically when someone falls or bumps their head on something accidentally, I always see the negative side of something before the positive and I always tell more hurtful things to my friends than good or encouraging stuff ( that is if I ever say anything good).
Sometimes after saying all the hurtful stuff, I usually feel so guilty but I never apologize...did I tell you, I've got a huuuuuge Ego that won't let me do that even when I know I am in the wrong?..sigh..what to do.. I don't really like it when I make people feel bad, but hey, it just happens... I guess it's all because I act or speak first before thinking.. (I know we should always think before doing anything, but some of our mouths and actions are faster than our thought process.. I think)
... I wrote the above stuff in 2015, now, seven years down the line, is there anything different? Yes and No.
No because I will laugh hysterically if you fall or even slip, if you hit your head on the table or corner of the window accidentally, I will be struggling to catch my breath from too much laughter. I even laugh like crazy when someone is telling a blatant lie and I am aware that they are lying.
Yes because, nowadays I try so hard not to hurt people's feelings. My mouth still runs faster than my mind but I always catch myself before saying something hurtful.. (nowadays all I say is 'I do not want to choose violence' therefore keep my comment to myself)
I also try to compliment others, see positives in all situations (however crappy they are) and apologize when I am in the wrong (sorry and thank you are too common in my day to day life)
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